I live in a huge apartment complex. I have a musically noisy neighbor. I complained to management about it and was told that I should call Courtesy Patrol and they would handle it. Courtesy Patrol? What the heck is Courtesy Patrol? We used to have Security Guards on the property, now we have Courtesy Patrol.
What does Courtesy Patrol do? Do they park your car for you? Walk you to your door? Carry your groceries? No. Then why do they call it Courtesy Patrol? Because they are courteous? Perhaps they will go over to my inconsiderate a-hole noisy neighbor and politely say, "Hi! I'm with Courtesy Patrol. Would you mind terribly if I asked you nicely if you would consider lowering the volume of your music, as it is shaking the whole building. Since you are a millennial, I know it's an insult to ask you, could be considered profiling, possibly racist if you're not white, and maybe even an upsetting microaggression, for me to ask you. And you don't have to turn down the loud music if you don't want to, even though it's disturbing all your neighbors day and night and is against the rules. No, you don't feel like turning down the music? OK, we thought we would ask you. I'll tell your neighbors they all have to suffer your loud music. Have a nice day."
Courtesy Patrol. Sounds polite, doesn't it? What rule breaker or law breaker would be scared of something called a Courtesy Patrol? The name Courtesy Patrol sounds like they would deal with complaints and bad tenants by being nice and polite and non-confrontational ... and toothless. Give me the old school "Security Guard". A Security Guard who would bang on the noisy neighbor's door and say to the offending tenant, "Hey, turn the music down. You're disturbing your neighbors and that's not allowed here. If you don't turn it down, and keep it down, we will evict you."
Hmm. Courtesy Patrol or Security Guards. New school or old school. I choose old school. It gets the job done. Unfortunately, I am stuck with Courtesy Patrols. Welcome to the new America.
